Forgiveness is a choice we make. It is not for the benefit of the other person. It's not so they can skip away merrily into the sunset. It is for ourselves, so we don't have to carry the burden around. It is for us to release the hurt, bitterness, and anger. These emotions tend to weigh us down and blur our vision on the journey. It makes the journey slower and more painful. Forgiveness makes the journey lighter and more at peace. And yes, I know what you're saying right now. "They don't deserve my forgiveness!" and "I want them to suffer!" The reasons forgiveness is so essential are generally outlined in your response when asked to forgive someone or move on from an old issue. Why can't we forgive?
Here are some excellent examples:
We don't want someone released from the consequences of their actions. We have a mindset that we cannot let people off easy. We felt hurt, so we wanted to hurt them. They are undeserving of our forgiveness because they are unkind and unfeeling.
We are too trapped in our emotions to allow forgiveness. Somehow, we think our lives would be better if we stayed angry and bitter. We won't feel or have to process the hurt if we remain angry or vindictive.
We are too self-righteous with our concepts of right and wrong. The idea that I am the hero and they are the villain causes us to live in a state of unforgiveness. It is a simple response and makes things manageable.
However, forgiveness lets us close and heal that tear in our hearts. It is the opportunity for our empathy to shine so we can, at a minimum, take a moment to understand why someone is the way they are (Remember, hurt people hurt people). Forgiveness releases us from revenge, but not the right to justice. When you forgive someone, you demonstrate your strength. You show how resilient and excellent of a person you are, allowing you to release all that bottled-up emotion weakening you.
Coaching on anger and forgiveness explores anger as a mind irritation compared to the intense fury and rage usually displayed and focuses on forgiveness as a way of healing ourselves. We discover ways to express our anger more healthily and put controls in place for the things that trigger us. We also explore the phases of forgiveness and reaching a place of healing.
Challenge for Today.
Take a moment to explore forgiveness and who you can forgive today for your healing. Make today an opportunity to close a tear in your heart and find peace. Create action steps to address poor actions and behaviors we've made or felt based on this trauma. Trust the journey.
BE BOLD. BE BRAVE. BELIEVE.
Your Positive Advancement Family